The death of me…The birth of ME!
April 29, 2010
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Today, I am standing at a cross roads.
To my left is a path that I have always dreamed of. Always wanted. The reason… I have always wanted to make a difference. Change things…forever. The road to my left represents what I have always wanted but had no way of attaining. You see, ever since I was a juvenile I have wanted to go down this road. Part of my education was to prepare me on moving down this road, how to navigate the road and how to make an impact. The thought of this road consumed me and every bit of my rational thinking ever since I can remember. Today I sit and stare down that road and see shapes that I have never seen before. The gate has been opened and now I am seeing everything that I wanted to see 6 years ago. But today…I am hesitant.
As I stand here, I look back and see an older set of crossroads and a decision that changed me forever. This cross roads that I currently stand at, has become available because of the decision I made before. I look to the right, and I also see things I have always dreamt of, but it is not as I would have imagined. It is different. I am different.
The difference between the two is that one pushes me to become better in everything I do- to do things right. Not just on a workmanship level, but also personally. The other will push me to my limits on a workmanship level, and its rewards will be money, and power. You see the decision I made a little bit back, has made me a better husband, father, friend and leader. Really now that I look at the cross roads, its not so much of a cross roads as much as it is a veer to the left because the path to the right…is just a continuation of the road that I have been traveling. Really, the closer I look…the more I realize that the veer to the left…I passed it a long time ago. The cross roads is simply a person whispering in my ear of what could have been. The question…Do I go back to the veer? Or do I stay the course?
Today, I announce the death of the old me. The things I once coveted are passing away one by one. This by far being the largest piece. What I have realized today is that the new birth that Christ speaks of, is literal. There is nothing metaphorical about it. All of the things I once wanted, everything has now changed for me. Today, I looked the person offering me a chance to fulfill something that I have thought about since I was a kid, and told him…no thanks. Today… I chose God.